Every profession has its jargon. But planners? We’ve got a language all our own. A mix of acronyms, policy-speak, and oddly specific references that sound completely normal to us... and slightly unhinged to everyone else.

Here’s Part 1 of 'Stuff Only Planners Say', collected from real conversations, meetings, and brain-breaking memos.

1. “That’s not a variance, that’s a complete rethinking of the code.”
Usually said when someone asks to build a skyscraper in a low-density zone, casually.

2. “This map is from 1974, but it’s still the one we use.”
Yes, it’s a scan of a blueprint. Yes, someone spilled coffee on it in 1998. And yes, it still governs land use.

3. “Let’s run that through our future land use compatibility matrix.”
Also known as: throwing it into the bureaucratic blender to see what comes out.

4. “The zoning doesn’t match the comp plan.”
Translation: It’s legal chaos and we’re going to need a minute.

5. “They’re asking for a PUD with a CUP in an MU zone.”
It’s either a zoning request or the planner just stubbed their toe on a Scrabble board.

6. “I need to check the trip generation rate for a doggy daycare.”
Because yes, somewhere, somehow, that’s in the ITE manual.

7. “Can we buffer the parking lot with a bioswale and native grasses?”
A question that contains multitudes and probably sparks a landscape design debate.

If you’ve said any of these recently you’re in good company…(or bad ones…maybe you should get new friends).

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